She's here!

Of course, most everyone knows our daughter has arrived.

11 weeks later, and I'm just now blogging about it, but, so be it ...

 

Our sweet baby girl, Jocelyn Faith, arrived early Tuesday morning, June 4th at 1:54 AM.

She weighed 7lbs 15oz and was 20 1/4 inches long.

It's a wild story.  It all happened much faster than anticipated.

The doctor and our families had to be called in out of bed.  :)

I'll record the full story some day. 

But here are a few pictures of those first moments.

 

Of course, our first glimpse was when the doctor held her up ...

But, this is the first picture I took with my phone:

Chris getting his first glimpse while the nurses did their thing.

He was falling in love for sure. 

Although, I couldn't see his face, I knew it was happening.

 

My second glimpse ... my girl semi-cleaned up:

 

And then in my arms.

Our first family picture.

Taken by our doctor less than 10 minutes after she was born

 

Our life is full of baby snuggles and sweet smiles. (and diaper changes)

We are over the moon in love.

She has changed our lives forever and in so many ways.

 



39 weeks

39 weeks

Size of baby:  A watermelon - At about 18.9 to 20.9 inches and about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds.  Despite the crowded quarters, she is still growing, growing.  She's probably able to flex her limbs now.  Her brain is still rapidly developing -- she's getting smarter by the week!  Her nails may extend past her fingertips. {info found on The Bump} Also, she continues to build a layer of fat to help control body temperature after birth, and the outer layers of skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  At my 38-week appointment last Thursday, I had lost two more pounds ... so, total 20lbs weight gain.

Cravings:  Nothing consistently.  Still enjoying ice cream.  My mama did cook Granny's fried peach pies at Sunday lunch!

Symptoms:   Nothing really now.  General aches, pains, pressure, and soreness.  I honestly feel good - not miserable or super uncomfortable.

Sleep:  Slightly restless and difficulty getting comfortable.  I only get up once to use the bathroom - normally around 2-3am.

Movement:   Yes.  And its beginning to be slightly painful with stronger pressure at times.

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Jos, Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Of course.

What I miss:   Nothing really.

What I'm looking forward to:   Seeing her sweet face.  And holding her in my arms.

Best Moments this week:

• Poison ivy/oak/sumac rash clearing up!
• Meeting with the lady who will be doing most of my job duties while I'm out - finally feel comfortable with leaving everything for a few weeks.
• Doctor's appointment.  Lost 2 lbs.  Blood pressure was 112/82.  Baby's heartbeat was 160's.  Just slightly dilated and cervix is soft.  He also told me that her head is partially through my pelvic bone which means I should have an "easier delivery."  (sorry if that is TMI)  I asked when he thought she'd come? ... his reply:  "at any time, but more than likely closer to the due date."
• My mom came over a few times last week and helped me spring-clean the house, top-to-bottom (ceiling fans, light fixtures, walls, cabinets, etc).  I'm keeping laundry and dishes caught up.  All of Josie's things are washed and ready.  I even crawled in our attic and moved stuff around organizing and putting things away.  The car is cleaned, car seat installed, and hospital bags are packed!  We are ready!!
• This week and last week, I've cooked several freezer meals.  As I've been cooking dinner, I've made an extra or two to have in the freezer.  (Chicken enchiladas, beef enchiladas, taco filling, hot dog chili, lasagna, homemade spaghetti sauce, tator tot casserole, chicken casserole, chicken spaghetti, etc)  I think we have approximately 20+ meals (that's 3 weeks of no cooking)  ;)
• Saturday evening, both of my grandmothers were at my house and took a "tour" of Josie's nursery.
• My mom made a blanket for Josie (I had suggested from Pinterest).  It turned out so pretty.  And she also bought more clothes for Josie (for next summer).  =)  Bright colors too!  I hope Josie likes wearing clothes and changing outfits often ... cause her Grandma Melinda sure loves shopping.
  
  
  
  
  

life's random moments

Don't you just love life interruptions/unplanned happenings?

Yep, this flat tire was waiting on me after work one day.

This is the picture I sent Chris asking him "what to do?"  LOL
(I've never changed a tire in my life and honestly do not know where to start)

I ended up calling a tire shop down the street, who sent a guy up to change it for me.

It ended up raining cats and dogs.  (poor guy)

I tipped him well for his troubles and went on my merry way as planned.

My cousin, Logan, and his head-less girlfriend.  =)

I love the smirk on his face.

This picture is from a fun day out with the girls (and two little guys).

Shopping AND Olive Garden!

I needed this shirt a few months ago.  LOL

Laurel and Aubrey came over and spent the night for a little "hoorah" before Josie arrives.

They wanted to sleep in her room and play with her toys and hang out with Chris & Livy. 

They went along with us to a family Mother's Day cookout at my Granny's.

Aubrey wanted her picture taken on this little old tractor.

On the way home from the cookout the sunset was beautiful.

Laurel said "Livy, take a picture of that!"

The picture doesn't do it justice, 

but I was delighted that this 9-year old found simple beauty in God's creation.

Also, Laurel asked how she was related to my Granny (maternal).

It was hard to explain and she didn't really get that she wasn't related to her as well.

She also wanted to know how to spell my Granny's name, Exie.

Here Aubrey was "spelling" a word on my fridge.

When we asked her what in the world she was spelling,

she insisted "It says, "Exie," ... see there's an "X" in it."

(see yellow "x")

I love the fun, little moments of life.

They make life good.

Memorial Day

I am thankful to live in this great nation.

And I'm grateful for all the brave men and women 

who have given so much that I might enjoy freedom.

thirty-eight weeks

No picture this week.

I do look more like myself - thank goodness.

However, this week has been crazy with last minute preparations for baby

and I have forgotten to take a picture

and/or changed into comfy clothes and not presentable after working around the house.

38 weeks

Size of baby:  A pumpkin - At about 18.9 to 20.9 inches and about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds.  Her head is now about the same circumference as her abdomen.  She may have about an inch or so of hair already.  She's slowly shedding that white goo on her skin (called vernix caseosa) but we might see some of it at birth. {info found on The Bump} 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I lost 18lbs in the first trimester and part of the second.  At my 37-week appointment, I have gained those 18lbs back, plus 4lbs ... total 22lbs weight gain.

Cravings:  Nothing consistently.  Still enjoying ice cream.  And this week I've wanted hot fudge cake and my Granny's fried peach pies.

Symptoms:   Swelling.  General aches, pains, and soreness.  Shortened breath if walking a lot or talking a lot.  Few hot flashes and feeling over-heated (which is a total opposite for me).

Sleep:  Not good this week especially with rash.

Movement:   Yes.  And its beginning to be slightly painful with stronger pressure at times.

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Jos, Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Of course.

What I miss:   Nothing really.

What I'm looking forward to:   Her arrival!!

Best Moments this week:

• Doctor's appointment.  Weight was the same.  Blood pressure was 118/83.  Baby's heartbeat was 160's.  No dilation check.  Concerned mostly with clearing up rash.
• Lots of rest and relaxation due to poison ivy/sumac/oak rash. 
• The church ladies of where I work hosted a baby shower for me on Sunday.  Although, I wasn't looking 100% better, I attended, because I know time is short.  They were so kind and gracious to me.  And we were "showered" with many, many sweet gifts.
  
  This was the delicious cake at the shower.
  (I decided to take a picture after the first slice was made)

poison ivy/oak/sumac

(Warning:  pictures in this post are quite scary.)

As I mentioned in the Mother's Day post, I came in contact with poison ivy/sumac/oak that weekend and by Mother's Day morning was broke out in a horrible rash all over my body and face. 

By Monday morning, my face was swollen.
Chris took the day off from work and drove me directly to my OBGYN office. 

The nurses would not work me in; they recommended I see my family doctor or dermatologist.
We drove straight from my OBGYN office to Chris' dermatologist office.  They were so kind to see me immediately, conferred with my OB doctor, and gave me a cortisone shot and steroid cream. 
And Monday evening, my sweet OB doctor called from his personal phone to check on me.

The rash proceeded to get worse Monday afternoon, Tuesday, and Wednesday, especially on my face.  I did not look like myself at all and my eyes were swollen shut and I had to be led around as if I were blind.  Wednesday, my mom took the day off to drive and take to my weekly OBGYN appointment, where my doctor recommended we email this picture of my face to the dermatologist.

  (told you I was unrecognizable and quite scary-looking)
I was quite embarrassed by how I looked and didn't go out in public for a week (except for appointments)

However, both doctors still believed that we would have to wait patiently while the rash ran it's course.  Quite possibly the reaction was more severe due to a suppressed immune system during pregnancy.  Also, not only was this a skin reaction; but quite possibly an immune system reaction as well.  And with my being pregnant, we were doing all we could medically and safely (Prednisone, cortisone shot, and cream).  Both doctors assured me time and time again, that the rash nor the medications were harmful to Josie in anyway. 

I should add here that we also tried every safe home-remedy treatment we received: 
vinegar, skim milk, potato juice, etc.  =)

By Thursday, there were slight signs of improvement ... the rash began drying up on my body and the swelling around my eyes reduced - I could actually see out of my eyes.  Friday, I had a follow up with the dermatologist and received another cortisone shot.  Also, there were more signs of improvement and the swelling in my face had reduced enough for me to wear my glasses. 

 
However, I had a reaction to the steroids and my face is still slightly red, puffy, and peeling.

Now, why did this happen to me so close to delivery, I do not know?

Chris says it was probably the only way for me to get some R&R.

Thankfully, Josie has "stayed put" and there seems to be no real progress in labor.

We have joked that the rash would definitely make for some scary "first" pictures.

I'm so thankful to be on the mend and ready for Josie to arrive!
And boy do we have a story to tell her.

more maternity pics

I bargained with a friend for another maternity photo shoot.

I found some inspiration on Pinterest and my friend ran with it. 

Of course, Chris bored out really quickly with all the ideas and many photos.

But, it was fun nonetheless and we got some sweet shots.

thirty-seven weeks



(sorry, no headshot, face swollen and red from poison ivy/oak/sumac rash)

 37 weeks

 

Size of baby:  A winter melon - At about 18.9 to 20.9 inches and about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds  (gaining about 1/2 ounce per day)  She is full-term ---  developed her most crucial functions. Of course, she’ll get even healthier and stronger over the next few weeks.  She's practicing some skills: inhaling, exhaling, sucking, gripping and blinking.   She's getting her first sticky poop (called meconium) ready for her first diaper.  {info found on The Bump} 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  I lost 3lbs.

Cravings:  Nothing consistently.  Still enjoying ice cream.  And this week I wanted Wendy's chili and baked potato.

Symptoms:   Swelling - a good bit.  General aches, pains, and soreness.  Shortened breath if walking a lot or talking a lot.

Sleep:  Not as good these days, but not terrible.  Changing positions more often and making a tripS to the bathroom.

Movement:   Yes.  All the time.

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Jos, Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Of course.

What I miss:   Nothing really.

What I'm looking forward to:   One more baby shower (May 19th).  And of course, her arrival!!

Best Moments this week:

• Working long hours at the office, but feeling confident and comfortable about being out on maternity leave. 
• Doctor's appointment.  Lost 3lbs more - doctor says it is okay and not to be concerned although everything I read and everyone tells me most gain weight these last few weeks.  Blood pressure was 118/75.  Baby's heartbeat good.  Not dilated anymore.  And measuring right on track.  Group B strep test result was negative. 
• Had car seat checked and correctly installed by safety group at the hospital.
• Happily celebrated Mother's Day as a mom-to-be.

Mother's Day

First of all let me say,

I'm thankful for my mom.

She's taught me so much;
especially about keeping a home, good work ethic, and loving her husband.

I am thankful for both of my grandmothers too.
They helped shape the woman I am today.

 

Secondly, I'm thankful for Chris' mom.

I'm so thankful she birthed such an awesome man.  =)

 

This Mother's Day was one for the record books.

It was my first as a mama/mom-to-be.

And while I've always enjoyed celebrating the blessing of my mother,

it has been difficult with the reminder of the lack of blessing in my being a mother.

And although, this one was less than ideal (see below), it was indeed happier.

When I got up Sunday morning, Chris had a card waiting.

(with the promise of shopping for a new, nice camera soon)

 

 Now to the "less than ideal" part ....

The Friday evening, I unknowingly had come in contact with poison sumac/ivy/oak.

By Saturday evening at my Granny's Mother's Day cookout,
I was breaking out all over my body including my face.

As I typically end up at the doctor's for treatment, I expected the same this time
and I wanted to do so quickly with being 37 weeks pregnant.

So, I put in a call to my OBGYN office, the answering service put me in touch with my doctor,

who thankfully called in a prescription of Prednisone to avoid an Urgent Care trip.

However, Sunday came, and I was a big mess of a rash - everywhere including my face.

So, there was no church for me ... just miserable itching and scratching.

Chris cooked dinner for mom and me -- BBQ grilled pork chops, corn on the cob, twiced baked potatoes, and bread.  (for dessert we had white chocolate cheesecake - which I had made Saturday)

 

What an unforgettable day, but in spite of the ordeal, my heart was indeed grateful for the mothers in my life and overwhelmingly grateful for the blessing of this opportunity to be a mom. 
I pray that I will be wise and follow God's direction as I mother this child He has given me.

(more to come on the rash ordeal)

thirteen years

In thirteen years,

there has been a whole lot of sunshine and a little rain,

abundant joy and some pain,

but through it all our love has sustained and remained!

 

He knows me. 

He "gets me."

He makes my heart flutter.

I love him more now than ever.

And I'm still absolutely crazy about him.

thirty-six weeks

no picture

:(

36 weeks

Size of baby:  A coconut - At about 17.2 to 18.7 inches and about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds.  And growing, growing, growing.  Now, her hearing is fully developed, and she responds best to high-pitched noises. {info found on The Bump}  She has less room to move around now since she is getting so big.  Her kidneys are fully developed now and her liver can process some waste products.  Basic physical development is now mostly complete - her main job over the next few weeks is to put on weight.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 6lbs+  At the doctor appointment this week, I had actually lost two pounds.  And no, I wasn't trying to after last appointments 8lbs gain.  But, it's a good thing - there were no tears shed.  =)

Cravings:  Nothing really.

Symptoms:   Swelling.  General aches, pains, and soreness. Shortened breath.  Few hot flashes and feeling over-heated (which is a total opposite for me).  Still just occasional indigestion/heartburn; and took a few Tums this week.

Sleep:  Not as good these days, but not terrible.  Changing positions more often and making a trip or two to the bathroom.

Movement:   Yes.  All the time.

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Jos, Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Yep!  And as the belly grows, the options are increasingly limited.

What I miss:   Nothing really.

What I'm looking forward to:   One more baby shower (May 19th) and maybe another.  And of course, her arrival!!

Best Moments this week:

• My cousin was in town from Alabama and our pastor scheduled him to preach Sunday morning.  At the beginning of his sermon he asked me to stand attesting to God's faithfulness and God's goodness.  (Embarrassing, yet joyful, all the same ... and of course, tearful)  His sermon was about leaning not to our own understanding, even though we face trials for enduring lengths of time and it appears that hope is lost.  Jacob was his biblical example and his belief that Joseph was dead for many years, but in his old age he did rejoice and worship while leaning on his staff to see God faithfully answer his prayer in seeing Joseph alive.
• Doctor's appointment.  2lb weight loss, my blood pressure was 125/85  (I told you, I had drama last week)  Baby's heartbeat was 160's and fundal height was 35cms.  I had the group B strep test done.  And he confirmed that she has "dropped" and is head-down in position for delivery ... and I've dilated just slightly.
• Received more sweet gifts.  And finished and mailed out thank you notes for gifts received thus far! 
• Downloaded apps on our phone so Chris can call me and I can watch video real-time while she is in the nursery (unless the hospital has changed over to "baby friendly," then all that will be done in my room).
• Ordered extra battery and tapes for video camera.
• Talked to a sweet first-time mom who just delivered a month ago ... she was so positive and hopeful and helpful.
• Enjoyed a family dinner and talking with family about Josie.

you know you're in the 3rd trimester when ...

• Emotions are at an all-time high.  In an instant, you may laugh, cry, or fly mad at the silliest stuff.

• While standing, you can no longer see your feet when you look down.

• Every time you roll over or change positions during the night, you also grunt and groan.

• You visit the rest room more frequently than you have since potty-training.

• People take a second glance at you in public.  You notice pity in their eyes as you slowly waddle to and fro.

• You change outfits 3, 4, or 5 times to find something to fit the bulging belly.

• Bending over at the waist is a thing of the past.  You now stoop and squat with a moan.

• You have "cankles" and "tater-toes."  Flip flops are the favored footwear.

• Shaving your legs and cutting your toe nails are now very difficult, almost impossible tasks.

• Sneezing can cause a chain of reaction, if you know what I mean.

random

This is random - 'cause I ain't "feeling it."  =)
It's been a long week.

With a little drama that this pregnant mama doesn't have time for.

So here goes random; cause I really do not want to think too much.
And I may just need a little reminder that life is good in spite of drama.

My employer (church family) had this beautiful hanging basket of flowers
with a card sitting on my desk one morning.
It was for Administrative Professionals Day - to let me know I'm loved and appreciated.
They are a sweet bunch of folks.

Thumpy (begrudgingly) makes a good model.  

She does not like wearing any hats, clothes, etc.

She doesn't even like to wear her collar.

But, she looks oh so cute in Josie's headbands.

 We received sweet gifts for Josie all the way from ARUBA!
A lady who attends the church's sister Hispanic church is from Aruba.
She had her cousin bring these over for Josie.
And not pictured is some chocolate from Aruba for Josie's mama.

Yep, she is spoiled rotten to the max!

I put monogram stickers on a few bottles for Josie to use at the babysitter's.
I had these burp cloths embroidered and my mama added the ruffles.
I love seeing our girl's name and initials.

And yep, I am blessed.

Have a fantastic weekend.

I plan on it!

Tomorrow, Chris is working, so I have some shopping fun planned with some girlfriends.

Oh, and a pedicure for these tired, weary, swollen feet.

  Woo-hoo!

thirty-five weeks

35 weeks

Size of baby:  A coconut - At about 17.2 to 18.7 inches and about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds.  And growing, growing, growing.  Now, her hearing is fully developed, and she responds best to high-pitched noises. {info found on The Bump}  She has less room to move around now since she is getting so big.  Her kidneys are fully developed now and her liver can process some waste products.  Basic physical development is now mostly complete - her main job over the next few weeks is to put on weight.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 8lbs+

Cravings:  Nothing really. 

Symptoms:   No trouble with emotions this week.  (Chris is grateful)  Shortened breath.  Strange dreams.  Still just occasional indigestion/heartburn; but haven't taken Tums lately.  Few hot flashes and feeling over-heated (which is a total opposite for me).

Sleep:  Not as good these days, but not terrible.  Changing positions more often and making a trip or two to the bathroom. 

Movement:   Yes.  All the time.  She is a squirm-er for sure.

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Yep!  And as the belly grows, the options are increasingly limited.

What I miss:   Nothing really.

What I'm looking forward to:   One more baby shower (May 19th) and maybe another.  And of course, her arrival!!

Best Moments this week:  

• Tackling items around the house.  Her room is complete and everything is organized. =)  Putting together the pack-n-play to use in our room.
• Laurel told me after Sunday lunch that I looked bigger.  She said "like in the last 10 seconds you've grown."  LOL
• Twice at work this week, I had ladies tell me that I looked great to be so far along ... of course, that made this worrisome, fearful, 1st-time pregnant girl feel awesome!
• Thursday, we just forgot about the "to do list," came home from work and crashed together taking a 2+ hour nap.  It felt wonderful!
• A sweet friend offered a maternity session in exchange for babysitting services ... we had the session Friday night.  It was fun ... or at least I thought so.  (Chris not so much)

stuffed strawberries

This is an easy-peasy recipe.

It does take a little time - but really worth the time!

Chris doesn't like chocolate - so this totally appealed to him.

The recipe is floating around on Facebook.

We decided to give it a whirl and take for dessert to mom's at lunch yesterday.

I couldn't find it again on Facebook, so I just Googled it.

1.  Wash strawberries and pat dry.
2.  Cut tops and bottoms off (so they stand).
3.  From the top of the strawberries, "dig" or cut out a little hole. (you may eat the bottoms and what you "dig" out)  =)
4.  In a bowl, mix the following until smooth: 8 oz. softened cream cheese, 1/2 cup of powdered sugar, and 1 tsp of vanilla.
5.  Spoon mixture into a Zip-loc bag and cut a bottom corner off.
6.  From the bag, squeeze mixture into the "holes" in the strawberries.
7.  Stand in container.
8.  For a finishing touch, sprinkle graham cracker crumbs on top.  (or you may melt chocolate chips and drizzle over top)

infertility etiquette

And for a little light-hearted humor, 

here is some infertility etiquette:

Things you shouldn't say to someone struggling with infertility:

• "Just relax." 
• "Stop thinking about it and it will happen."
• "Why not just adopt?"
• "You want kids? Take mine."
• "You are still young. You have plenty of time."
• "My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant."
• "Maybe it's not meant to be"

Don't share the "horror" stories you are familiar with ... each case is different.  And do not imply that the couple has done something to cause a problem (ie gained too much weight, drank too much caffeine, etc.)  Trust me, they already blame themselves.

For goodness sake, don't share personal opinions regarding fertility treatments and procedures.  Unless you've been there, you have no idea what you would do.

Don't offer advice and old wives tales ... they've probably already tried having her stand on her head.

 

If you are pregnant - don't complain in front of an infertile woman - she would die for that!

 

Don't ask a childless couple, "When they are going to start trying?" or "When are y'all gonna have a baby?"  It's like asking a single person at a wedding, "When are you getting married?"  Otherwise, folks might start asking you at the funeral home, "Are you next?"  LOL

 

Things you should say:

• "How are you?"
• "Is there anything I can do?" (not likely, but the fact you care enough to ask means the world)
• "I'm here if you want to talk about it."
• "I am praying for you/can I pray for you?"

 

Offer a hug.  Cry with them.  Send a card in the mail.  

 

Educate yourself:  http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/

DO provide emotional support, understand a need for privacy, remind them their is hope, be sensitive of their feelings and struggles.  The vast majority of infertile couples have minimal control of the diseases that causes their infertility.  Giving them emotional support during this trying time is a wonderful way to assist them. Giving them subtle hints that they have control plants the seeds of failure in the minds of the infertile patient.  Please be kind, thoughtful and always supportive. 

infertility awareness

1 in 8 families struggle with infertility in some way, big or small.

It's something that those who do not struggle with take for granted.

Please, take a moment, think about it, try to imagine the struggle, 

and honor and pray for those who struggle.

Most women are born with a desire to be a mother.
Little girls play with dolls and pretend to be mothers like their moms.

When that dream is crushed, 

it's hard to keep waiting and have faith, 

but yet harder still to give up when it's all you've ever wanted.

Infertility can wreak havoc on almost every area of your life.

Spiritually ... 

"Why me?  Why does the teenage, un-wed mother get pregnant?"

"Why did You create me with a longing to be a mom, if You knew I wouldn't be able to conceive?"

"Are You not hearing my prayers?"

Emotionally ...

Feelings of anger, frustration, feelings of inadequacy, depression, and guilt

Pregnancy announcements hurt.

Family and social gatherings become a reminder of infertility.

Tears fill your eyes at the sight of pregnant ladies and newborns in public.

Baby showers can be a traumatic experience. 

You'd rather just skip Mother's Day and Father's Day.

And sometimes fertility medications mess with your hormones adding to the emotions.

Physically ... 

Testing and treatments ... hello, side effects.

These can do wacky things to your body.

Not to mention, stress alone can make one physically ill.

Financially ...

Infertility testing and treatments can become costly quickly.

One IVF cycle "attempt" can cost anywhere from $10,000-$15,000.

Most insurance plans do not cover testing or treatment.

And adoption (unless government-assisted) isn't cheap!

Relationally ...

Marriages are strained. 

Husband and wife are both dealing with this issue at the same time,

therefore, it is sometimes difficult to offer support and encouragement
when you are in need of the same.

And most of the time, both husband and wife do not deal with it in the same manner.

Relationships with family members can suffer.

Most families have little infertility knowledge, therefore they are unsure of what to say and do.

Also, they do not understand your sensitive nature and how to be careful of it.

Sometimes families do not understand why when you can't make it to an event.

And well-meaning friends and family can overload you with advice and pressure. 

It's tough all the way around.  Any way you spin it.  It stinks!  

And there's not an easy, guaranteed fix.

Sometimes it takes years of prayer, acceptance, appointments, and counseling 

to determine how to deal with infertility and proceed in the plan for your life.

Although, I'm now just 5 weeks away from the anticipated arrival of our long-awaited baby,

my heart still bears the wounds and scars of infertility.

Josie and time will heal the wounds, but I will always have the scars.

And I pray these scars keep me sensitive and aware of those struggling around me.

If you are struggling with infertility, 

I pray for strength for your journey, faith to keep believing, and abundant blessings!

happy birthday, Thumpy

During the month of April in 2004 (if our memory serves us well), our sweet puppy dog was born.

We picked her up Memorial Day weekend, so we are sure she was born in April sometime.  

Tuesday night, we celebrated the sweet birthday girl 

with birthday hats, cupcakes, a candle, and special treats.

She did enjoy licking the icing and finally Chris helped her get to the cake part.

We did not let her eat the entire cupcake ... she shared with J.D. as well.

 We can't believe she's 9 years old now.

She is one of the best, no doubt.

We love her to pieces.

She's always excited to see us.

And she senses when we need some loving too.

She's our sweet Thumpy-girl!

lately

Just several fun pictures from life lately.

 

This is our dog who stays outside in the back fence.

He loves to lay on his dog bed in the warm sun.

And notice the orange speck under his ear - that is his ball.

He LOVES, LOVES his ball. 

The minute he hears Chris come home he gets his ball and is ready to play.

 

 Friday night, Chris' sister gifted us tickets (birthday gift) to a local bluegrass concert.

Blue Highway is among Chris' absolute favorite groups.

It was definitely one of the first groups he became acquainted with
and Rob Ickes is his favorite dobro player. 
We enjoyed the evening together; including Japanese for dinner.
 

This is a maternity photo that has gone "viral" on the web.

The mom-to-be had no idea that dad-to-be was posing like this.

I teased Chris about it.
We have another maternity photo shoot this weekend.

We'll see if this pose appears.  LOL

 



 These are a few of the burp cloths my mom is accessorizing for Josie.

I got the burp cloths and thought they could use some color.

I had these scrap pieces of fabric and my mom went to work.
 



Um. Do you see the platinum highlights????

I thought children caused these???  And Josie isn't here yet.

Maybe husbands cause them???

Either way, no matter how they came ... they are gone now ... promptly plucked!!

 



And aren't my mom's tulips gorgeous?

I thought they were beautiful this year.
I heart springtime!



thirty-four weeks

Feeling large and in charge these days!
(and pardon the tiredness, this was at 8:30 PM after a long day)
34 weeks

Size of baby:  A butternut squash - At about 17.2 to 18.7 inches and about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds.  She's recognizing and reacting to simple songs. (So we'll keep playing her lullabies to her at night)  She's also urinating about a pint a day. {info found on The Bump}  Fat layers - which will help regulate her body temperature after birth - are filling her out, making her more rounder.  Her skin is also smoother than ever.  The central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  8lbs+  ... and yes, I gained that in 2 weeks.  YIKES!

Cravings: Chocolate ice cream.  Fruit.  Nothing else really.

Symptoms:   Had a bout with dehydration ... a lot of pain in my stomach, lower back, and leg cramps one night. I called my doctor the next morning, it seemed to be muscle related, therefore determined possible dehydration.  Drank lots of water and took Tylenol which helped.  (don't ask Chris about it ... it was 2-4:30 AM and we were both delusional)  And I guess my hormones are at an all-time high, therefore, so are the emotions!  Shortened breath.  Strange dreams.  Still just occasional indigestion/heartburn; but haven't taken Tums in over a week.  Few hot flashes and feeling over-heated (which is a total opposite for me).

Sleep:  Not as good these days, but not terrible.  Changing positions more often and making a trip or two to the bathroom. 

Movement:   Yes.  All the time.  There's nothing like it!

Gender: Sweet baby girl - Jocelyn Faith  (nicknames:  Love Bug, Josie, Josie-Poo, Josie-Posie, Josie-Rosie, Sweet Ums,  Pookie (thanks to Chris), Darling, Angel Face, and Jo-Jo (thanks to Brandon))

Maternity Clothes: Yep!   (glad it stretches too ... my belly is growing, growing ... obviously with an 8lb weight gain!)

What I miss: Still don't really miss a thing.  I waited so long to be in this place ... it's all worth it!

What I'm looking forward to:   One more baby shower or possibly two.  And her arrival!!

Best Moments this week:  

• Hospital Tour - wow!  it felt super surreal to think about ME lying in THAT bed IN LABOR!!  We were impressed.  And of course, ready to be there and get this done!
• Mom has been sewing sweet little personalized outfits for the hospital.  They are cute.  I will share pictures soon.
• Doctor's appointment.  Doctor said everything is great.  But, I had the 8lb weight gain, my blood pressure was 122/82 (which is higher for me), and my pulse was 120.  So, I sort of freaked a little and had a crying spell (told ya, HORMONES).  Baby's heartbeat was 150 and fundal height was 33cms.  He assured me ... I will gain weight and it's probably fluid (cause I'm toting around a "fish aquarium") and blood pressure is only an issue when top number is 140+.
• Shopping a consignment sale with baby shower cash ... getting a few "un-necessary" items, but things I wanted (ie wipe warmer, bath kneeler, wedge to keep her on her back in crib, Puddle Jumper pool float, etc - and of course, a few smocked dresses)
• Breastfeeding Class
• (This will be a funny moment ... later) ... crying at the drop of a hat.  I cried this week because Chris forgot to put the garbage on the street and I had to do it.
• And although, 37 weeks is considered full-term, most babies born 34-36 weeks who have no other health problems generally do just fine. (so we are technically safe for her to come at any time now)

valentine memory

I forgot to do a recap of our Valentine's day this year.
Since it was our last Valentine's Day as just the two of us,
I do want to record the memory.

We've never really went "all out" for Valentine's Day.

We prefer to express our love for each other all through the year,

not just one specific day.

And we typically do not go out to dinner as the crowds are ridiculous and can be frustrating.

This year, we had pizza at home.

Exchanged gifts.
Snuggled and cuddled.

Chris gifted me Happy perfume (since I broke my previous bottle in a clumsy accident)
and two sweet Willow Tree figurines.

I had a few gifts and surprises up my sleeve for Chris.

Gift-giving is one of my love languages, I guess.

I love to surprise others with gifts; especially ones I know they will enjoy.

I gave him a "crazy about you" balloon, fun music-making card, and an I-tunes gift card.

Our dogs gave him his favorite snacks and junk food
with a card signed with paw prints asking him to share the treats.

And Josie gave him a purple guitar pick for him to teach her to play the guitar, a baby piano to play alongside him, two little books (one about Pookie), and a little girl charm for his keychain.

 

And of all the gifts he received ... the charm was his favorite.

He actually said that is on the top list of gifts I have EVER given in him.

So, I scored BIG TIME!  =)

I also gave my mom and his parents one of the little charms and a small box of candy.

We can't wait until our little love bug is here to celebrate next year!